Our life experiences definitely shape us and our future, by why does it always have to be the negative experiences? I think its safe to say that most everyone has had a bad or negative experience at some point in their life. I have had so many I’ve lost count. (Especially the last two years.) Do people really make a declarative statement of “Yes I want to be unhappy?” For that matter, why would anyone want to be an unhappy victim? I know I don’t. I do know however that there are some very unhappy, self-declared victims in this world and they simply accept it as their way of life. (I cannot speak for everyone, obviously.) I was there once, and I had no clue about how to change how I felt about myself. I was not very aware of the fact that I was creating a continual loop of negativity all by my little self.
The last two years of my life have drastically changed me. I had a hysterectomy at 37 which is incredibly young. I have two beautiful kids so I am lucky that I was able to have them. (They are my world and I am so blessed.) I went through a period of thinking I would never be a “whole” woman, thinking specifically that a man would not view me as whole. So there went my dating life. Then a few months after surgery I hurt my back. I was in bed most of 2013. Even still today, a year and a half after the initial injury, I am still in pain every day. I am unable to enjoy life with a carefree attitude. (I cannot wear heels much anymore. There is a girls worst nightmare.) These two scenarios alone caused me serious depression. How would I ever be a functional mother again, let alone date? What could I offer a man? I kept thinking about all the things that “normal” people could do that I suddenly couldn’t do. Talk about being in a limited state of mind.
I have two choices. I can either stay in the mindset of “I am handicapped by my back and my hormones do not work the way they used to, so why try to get ahead in life, I am broken” or I can see those as the full package of my awesomeness. So what if I am limited by my back. So what if I cannot have any more kids. I am beautiful, I am smart, I am funny, I am a great writer, I am a great mother, I am so much more than a back injury and so much more than just the ability to reproduce. Who wouldn’t want me? I am freaking awesome!!
The change to my “self-view” was all it took to pull me out of some very dark places. I was so focused on the negative that I could never see the positive. How would I ever get anywhere in life thinking like that? Talk about having no motivation to do anything. I just wanted to lay in bed. I have seen so many people, close friends included, that stay so hung up on the negative experiences of their life that they forget how awesome they are. I make it a point to tell everyone I can that they really are awesome because everyone is. Stop with the negative self hate and start with the positive self love. Look at all the great things you have done in your life. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! OWN IT!!
(Anyone else singing “Everything is Awesome” from the Lego Movie?? It is stuck in my head.)