Why do we back down just because we don’t feel ready?

Changes aheadThere is a very famous quote by Voltaire that sums up the idea of certainty in the most perfect way.

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is an absurd one.”

Many people feel apprehension right before making a huge decision.   This apprehension, more often than not, is simply the suffering of a misunderstanding.   People assume that feeling uncomfortable equates to not being ready.  When a person is about to commit to a relationship, embark on a new career, start or add to a family, or even confront a person with an uncomfortable conversation, its expected that there should be a sense of readiness and assuredness.  Brides and grooms especially know this feeling if they experienced cold feet before their wedding day.  Change on any level is not comfortable so why people expect to not have feelings of tension, hesitation, or feelings of doubt is beyond me.  The frustrating part about all of this is that people will misinterpret the tension or hesitation as a sign that they are making the wrong decision and will give into those feelings and not do what it is that they really want to do.  Sadly, it is those decisions to not act upon that we end up regretting later in life.


It is totally normal to feel a sense of anxiety when we face life changing decisions or a substantial change.  It is completely normal to question if we are ready for a relationship or if we can handle the added responsibility of adding to our family.  If we allow those types of thoughts to linger too long, we will actually talk ourselves out of what it is that we really want to do and settle for less than we deserve.  Is it any wonder as to why people feel stuck in life, have panic attacks, feel depressed, and never seem to accomplish their goals?


Now, don’t take this to the extreme and become completely impulsive and act before you are prepared.  In fact, it is the lack of preparedness, not the feeling of being ready, that causes the feelings of apprehension and anxiety.  You can calm this anxiety with thorough preparation, however you cannot eliminate all doubts or jittery feelings.  Just because you are nervous it does not mean that you are not ready.  The part that you should focus on when feeling anxious about change is not eliminating the discomfort, but to recognize when you are as ready as you can be and to embrace the change.  If you wait until you are perfectly at ease with any given uncomfortable situation, then you may end up waiting so long that life will pass you by.