No one likes the thought of letting go of anyone or anything. We just don’t. I don’t like it. I certainly do not like letting people I care about go. It’s a part of life though and I can either accept the process and go with it or fight the idea and allow people space in my life where they do not belong. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on myself and I am in a good place with great people something happens that reminds me to stay aware of people’s motives and actions.
For me, I have a repeating pattern that I think I have a grasp on, but I am not sure because when I try something different, the same thing happens. I tend to attract people that, for lack of a better term, take advantage of me. When I meet new people that I have a great connection with, I jump right in. I am not a scared person and I don’t wait for people to make up their mind about me. I forget that they may not live life the same way I do and they might be more fearful or distrusting of others. I trust everyone. (Not to say that I trust them with my life or my kids, I just believe the niceness they have about them and that they are not going to hurt me.) I honestly believe that people’s agendas are inherently good. So I give of myself openly. I show my appreciation by doing acts of kindness, even if it the second or third time we’ve hung out.
I am a person of abundance and the more I have the more I share. It could be money, it could be time, it could be letting the other person decide when we will hang out, or I might even offer help for a project or running errands. I am a nice person and want to help out those that help me or offer support. The problem for me is that people latch onto me not for me, but for what I do for them. That really isn’t a healthy dynamic for either of us. One person is the user and the other person is the usee. The best part about all of this is that I keep getting used by people that only want me to do things for them, not spend time with me. It leaves me exhausted and unhappy.
I have had to let go of a few people within the last month that did this to me. I am saddened by that. However, I know it’s for the best. All I can do is learn the lesson that needs to be learned from it and try to not let it happen again. I need to not do so much for people. I need to let people see the real me before I make determinations about them or myself. I need to figure out why I give so much to people. And most of all, I need to let go and not look back.